It's over!

A LEVELS ARE OVER! Time to get my life (and my room) back in order, and move on quickly. I have many more things to think about - decisions, decisions, delirium.

Anyway, I fancy my chances of getting As for the sciences and maths, but for GP and economics it's really a big question mark. An ideal situation will be straight As! GP and economics have always meant quite a lot to me, but I usually can't score as well as the other subjects. I'll just see how it goes. Hopefully whatever grades I get would lead me to something and somewhere God wants me to study. And in the best case scenario, a good scholarship either from NUS for local study or a strong organisation for overseas study, so I don't have to spend my parents' hard-earned tens of thousands of dollars for my degree.

I've really been wondering, how do people's lives change over time? Very surely, life doesn't end after JC. There's still university to go through, a career to pursue and a family to build, among many other things. All these factors would probably be part of most of my contemporaries' lives. Right now, I can't clearly see myself emerge at the top in wealth and repute in 10 or 20 years' time. It's not that I don't have dreams - I have incredible dreams - but the future is just so vague. After all, I've come so far in 18 years, and there's still more than three quarters of my life to live. How am I supposed to know how I would end up at the age of 50, or even just 30? I could fill the role of an important pillar of society, or remain in relative anonymity. The troubling thing is knowing that every major decision I make will have implications, profound or otherwise, for my future.

And next comes success. Is the definition of success different to each individual? To me, the fundamental basis for success is the same - power and influence. Please don't let the image of a ruthless dictator come to your mind. They are only critical for success, because they are the only means through which our ideals can turn into reality. And success for everyone, as far as I know, is to change society to the way he wants it to be, for the better or for the worse.

So, I have many things to think about - with God!