a process

sometimes i ask myself, why isn't there any end to all this - my pains, my troubles, my difficulties? things just seem to get harder and harder. when it isn't physical, it's mental. when it isn't mental, it's emotional. when it isn't emotional, it's spiritual. i've long stopped deceiving myself that there'll be a time on this earth where people, places or events seem perfect.

i can go on and on about the shortcomings of my environment, but somehow i'll get lost for words if you ask me to count my blessings. why this inclination towards criticism? maybe it's because we're all wired as human beings to strive for progress. i like to think that people who are mature in this aspect usually follow up with actions on their criticism to make a difference for the better. others just do the first part and forget about the second - not a very good thing to go around destroying what you don't like and leaving the place in ruins. it'll perhaps be wiser to build something more ideal out of the rubble.

having said all that, i think some amount of destruction should still be necessary to leave room for creation. beautiful cities couldn't be built without first clearing the land, great empires couldn't have come into existence before smaller civilisations were conquered and assimilated. now i come to my main point - a better person can only emerge out of challenges in life. hardship acts as a huge sledgehammer that break you down bit by bit. during that process, the pain can be almost unendurable. and you cry out for help for someone to put you back together again... as God does it, you realise it's all part of His plan.