Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
on a rainy rainy rainy sunday...
i feel melancholic. rain never fails to make me feel melancholic, and it's been pouring for 5 hours straight ever since i woke up. perhaps the monsoon season is arriving - el nino i think. nevertheless, it created a great environment for quiet time coupled with corrinne may's songs. after a spiritually draining week, which wasn't helped by the fact i couldn't attend service, the presence of God was awesome... it more than made up for the frustrations i'm feeling. and truly, being able to commune with God, to have Someone almighty who understands your troubles and carries your burdens is the greatest privilege that can be accorded. and oh, in fact He wants to do so... you just have to let Him. (:
i'll just share something God spoke to me about: the story of Jesus feeding the five thousand. there are so many times when we feel that we don't have much to offer God, and even more so when we're stuck in situations out of our control. and we ask God: "what can i give? how can i give? my life's such a mess!" it's only human to feel at a loss or sometimes painful frustrations because we can be helpless trying to get ourselves out of bondage from within or without. then it's also natural to be so obsessed with the problems in our life, instead knocking on the God's door to seek and find Him with all our heart. but when we are found in His presence, we'll hear from Him: "I'll take what little you have, and make it much." won't we trust God, and walk with Him? there's all that angst to lose, and a life of victory to gain.
i'll just share something God spoke to me about: the story of Jesus feeding the five thousand. there are so many times when we feel that we don't have much to offer God, and even more so when we're stuck in situations out of our control. and we ask God: "what can i give? how can i give? my life's such a mess!" it's only human to feel at a loss or sometimes painful frustrations because we can be helpless trying to get ourselves out of bondage from within or without. then it's also natural to be so obsessed with the problems in our life, instead knocking on the God's door to seek and find Him with all our heart. but when we are found in His presence, we'll hear from Him: "I'll take what little you have, and make it much." won't we trust God, and walk with Him? there's all that angst to lose, and a life of victory to gain.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
i wish...
the weekend always feels like a dream to me. it's the time of the week when i'll be with people i love and can hang around with, throw aside all my reservations and be who i really am. it's the time of the week when i'm involved in things i actually like to do... yet like all dreams, they pass quickly, almost fleetingly.
weekdays are a drag, and every day seems so long that i'm always taking note of how long more it is to dismissal. i wish the days do end a lot faster, so i can go home to rest, interact online with friends and do some quiet time. or maybe go for bible study or a driving lesson (though i've more or less completed them). most of the time, i come home very drained that i can't even find much energy to exercise. if not for weekends, i could go insane.
and tomorrow is the start of a new week. but indeed, let His joy be my strength! on weekends, i love His presence. on weekdays, i desperately need His presence.
weekdays are a drag, and every day seems so long that i'm always taking note of how long more it is to dismissal. i wish the days do end a lot faster, so i can go home to rest, interact online with friends and do some quiet time. or maybe go for bible study or a driving lesson (though i've more or less completed them). most of the time, i come home very drained that i can't even find much energy to exercise. if not for weekends, i could go insane.
and tomorrow is the start of a new week. but indeed, let His joy be my strength! on weekends, i love His presence. on weekdays, i desperately need His presence.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
i really like to blog about little things that set me off.
i just finished reposting grace's original note on "what true salvation means to me on a ..." when i did something i would have never done on purpose - publish the news on facebook. i almost kicked myself for doing it. now every single person connected to me will be aware of the note, and possibly read it and know some of the fundamental beliefs of my christian faith.
i'm not ashamed of my faith at all... so why am i trying to be so discreet about it?
is it because singapore's a secular state and religion should never come to the forefront?
is it because some of my friends may take offence at this obvious declaration of faith?
is it because some others may ridicule me for religious zeal?
the answer is all three, and there are many layers to which it can be provided but i'll be missing the point of this post.
somehow, the confidence that God has given me tells me that nothing untoward shall happen because He is for me, and always fighting by me, with me and even through me. if truly the God i believe in is the Almighty One, the Alpha and Omega and the Creator of all heaven and earth, i will not retract any steps i have taken for Him, whether by accident or on purpose, no matter the consequences.
i'm not ashamed of my faith at all... so why am i trying to be so discreet about it?
is it because singapore's a secular state and religion should never come to the forefront?
is it because some of my friends may take offence at this obvious declaration of faith?
is it because some others may ridicule me for religious zeal?
the answer is all three, and there are many layers to which it can be provided but i'll be missing the point of this post.
somehow, the confidence that God has given me tells me that nothing untoward shall happen because He is for me, and always fighting by me, with me and even through me. if truly the God i believe in is the Almighty One, the Alpha and Omega and the Creator of all heaven and earth, i will not retract any steps i have taken for Him, whether by accident or on purpose, no matter the consequences.
Monday, August 10, 2009
the Holy Spirit of God - our parakletos.
paráklētos: "one who consoles, one who intercedes on our behalf, a comforter or an advocate".
2 Corinthians 4:7-9
But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed...
i used to think that life surely gets much better after a period of stress, such as my a levels last year or bmt earlier this year. but i've realised that it's a delusion. at every point in our lives, there are always troubles that afflict us and obstacles to overcome. life isn't so much a bed of roses with nettles in between, but a bed of nettles with roses in between. i hope i don't sound fatalistic, since nettles may sting, but they can't kill.
this verse just came to mind when i was feeling hopeless about certain issues. thank God that He's always with us. (:
2 Corinthians 4:7-9
But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed...
i used to think that life surely gets much better after a period of stress, such as my a levels last year or bmt earlier this year. but i've realised that it's a delusion. at every point in our lives, there are always troubles that afflict us and obstacles to overcome. life isn't so much a bed of roses with nettles in between, but a bed of nettles with roses in between. i hope i don't sound fatalistic, since nettles may sting, but they can't kill.
this verse just came to mind when i was feeling hopeless about certain issues. thank God that He's always with us. (:
Sunday, August 2, 2009
thinking on a sunday night in solitude
i haven't written anything here for quite a while. i guess it's time to reignite my love for writing since the chance for introspection presents itself.
today was city harvest's 20th anniversary. it was a monumental celebration that packed the entire indoor stadium with lots of performances and of course, the sharing by pastor kong about the church's vision for the next 20 years. sometimes i really admire him for his foresight and ability to plan far into the future. anyway, despite what many critics say about this church, and even some personal reservations of my own, i feel that this church is somewhere i think would challenge me to continually live out my life to its fullest for God - a life of faith for the power of God to move, of purity for the presence of God to linger, a life testament to the great commandment, a life that fulfills the great commission. so often reemphasized, it does sound so cliche and even meaningless, but i'm sure it's a comprehensive guide for a christian to live by if we seriously think about it. moreover, it's difficult to live like that. i'm probably never stop trying.
within and without my mind, only reason, and not faith, seems to always justify my decisions. likely, there are many people who find no trouble in trusting God, but not me. the only times i can recall trusting God were when the situations were desperate or out of my control. whenever i'm empowered and there's a chance that things can go out right (or the way i want it), i find no need to pray about it and place it in God's hands. i'm not going to blame anything or anyone for this terrible flaw but my prideful self who finds it counterintuitive to "let go and let God". it hits me now that life can be so unpredictable, and we also can't take what we have or what we know for granted, and thus everything still falls back into the hands of God. science fails, machines fail, people fail, but God doesn't. no wonder they say you have to learn to trust God, it doesn't come naturally, and still i know i need a lot more time and experience to remember and understand Proverbs 3:5.
in this world where temptations to sin abound, it's hard to keep your heart, mind and soul pure in the eyes of God. everywhere you look, anywhere you go, opportunities to sin are aplenty and sometimes self-control falls short, i'm not ashamed to admit that. no one's perfect and we all sin. somehow it's troubling that many people, myself included, can easily find something bad to do, yet have problems trying to do good. while Jesus has already died and resurrected that sin may no longer have any power over those who believe in Him, i think that making the conscious decision on our part to lay ourselves aside to put on Christ, that this and Christlikeness may come to pass, is another matter altogether. that's why many of us are still caught in the snare of sin. up to now, i haven't been able to put my whole self aside yet. with the realisation of who God is compared who i am, what God has done and what little He asks for, i think it makes for a compelling motivation to start.
not too long ago, grace shared with the connect group leaders on the importance of having a life statement. having given it some thought, i realised in retrospect that mine - to love, to serve and to influence - bears some resemblance to the great commandment (to love God wholeheartedly and to love people fervently) and the great commission (to make disciples of all the nations...). with that, there's a resounding assurance that my life is headed in the right direction if i go this way. yet, it's definitely not the easiest of all directions to take. the bible says that it isn't anything extraordinary if you love people who love you. however, to love your enemies and your critics or the people who no one else likes is easier said than done. it's out of mind, out of instinct, possibly even out of character for some like me. but i guess if that's what Jesus wants, then i just got to swallow my pride (and maybe choke on it because it's so enormous) and try. ultimately after loving and serving, it all comes to naught if the testimony is not expressed and the gospel of Jesus is not shared. i remember that in the past i used to be fervent about talking to others about the saving grace of Jesus Christ - the love, the hope, the experience and the changes one's life undergoes after receiving Him. it may be that my spirit's becoming lukewarm, otherwise dry, however you may describe it. is it because of unanswered questions? unfulfilled dreams? opening my eyes wide to a world antagonistic to principles in the kingdom of God, that sometimes i feel the uncomfortable pressure of going against the grain of things? it dawns on me that the Holy Spirit is here for a reason. my parakletos, He's here to help.
i'm not inclined to conclude matters than to raise them, so that's all and i hope i'll continue to grow in the presence of the Lord.
today was city harvest's 20th anniversary. it was a monumental celebration that packed the entire indoor stadium with lots of performances and of course, the sharing by pastor kong about the church's vision for the next 20 years. sometimes i really admire him for his foresight and ability to plan far into the future. anyway, despite what many critics say about this church, and even some personal reservations of my own, i feel that this church is somewhere i think would challenge me to continually live out my life to its fullest for God - a life of faith for the power of God to move, of purity for the presence of God to linger, a life testament to the great commandment, a life that fulfills the great commission. so often reemphasized, it does sound so cliche and even meaningless, but i'm sure it's a comprehensive guide for a christian to live by if we seriously think about it. moreover, it's difficult to live like that. i'm probably never stop trying.
within and without my mind, only reason, and not faith, seems to always justify my decisions. likely, there are many people who find no trouble in trusting God, but not me. the only times i can recall trusting God were when the situations were desperate or out of my control. whenever i'm empowered and there's a chance that things can go out right (or the way i want it), i find no need to pray about it and place it in God's hands. i'm not going to blame anything or anyone for this terrible flaw but my prideful self who finds it counterintuitive to "let go and let God". it hits me now that life can be so unpredictable, and we also can't take what we have or what we know for granted, and thus everything still falls back into the hands of God. science fails, machines fail, people fail, but God doesn't. no wonder they say you have to learn to trust God, it doesn't come naturally, and still i know i need a lot more time and experience to remember and understand Proverbs 3:5.
in this world where temptations to sin abound, it's hard to keep your heart, mind and soul pure in the eyes of God. everywhere you look, anywhere you go, opportunities to sin are aplenty and sometimes self-control falls short, i'm not ashamed to admit that. no one's perfect and we all sin. somehow it's troubling that many people, myself included, can easily find something bad to do, yet have problems trying to do good. while Jesus has already died and resurrected that sin may no longer have any power over those who believe in Him, i think that making the conscious decision on our part to lay ourselves aside to put on Christ, that this and Christlikeness may come to pass, is another matter altogether. that's why many of us are still caught in the snare of sin. up to now, i haven't been able to put my whole self aside yet. with the realisation of who God is compared who i am, what God has done and what little He asks for, i think it makes for a compelling motivation to start.
not too long ago, grace shared with the connect group leaders on the importance of having a life statement. having given it some thought, i realised in retrospect that mine - to love, to serve and to influence - bears some resemblance to the great commandment (to love God wholeheartedly and to love people fervently) and the great commission (to make disciples of all the nations...). with that, there's a resounding assurance that my life is headed in the right direction if i go this way. yet, it's definitely not the easiest of all directions to take. the bible says that it isn't anything extraordinary if you love people who love you. however, to love your enemies and your critics or the people who no one else likes is easier said than done. it's out of mind, out of instinct, possibly even out of character for some like me. but i guess if that's what Jesus wants, then i just got to swallow my pride (and maybe choke on it because it's so enormous) and try. ultimately after loving and serving, it all comes to naught if the testimony is not expressed and the gospel of Jesus is not shared. i remember that in the past i used to be fervent about talking to others about the saving grace of Jesus Christ - the love, the hope, the experience and the changes one's life undergoes after receiving Him. it may be that my spirit's becoming lukewarm, otherwise dry, however you may describe it. is it because of unanswered questions? unfulfilled dreams? opening my eyes wide to a world antagonistic to principles in the kingdom of God, that sometimes i feel the uncomfortable pressure of going against the grain of things? it dawns on me that the Holy Spirit is here for a reason. my parakletos, He's here to help.
i'm not inclined to conclude matters than to raise them, so that's all and i hope i'll continue to grow in the presence of the Lord.
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