introspection long overdue.

yesterday's cell group outreach to sentosa was phenomenal. it wasn't so much because of the games we played or the silly things we did, but simply because of the people who were around. i just want to say thanks to everyone, it wouldn't have been the same without any of you. i think i've said this before, but indeed, i'm always glad to be in the company of e222 because i know i can be who i am and still be acknowledged and appreciated for it... i wonder whether there can ever be any group of people more full of the love of God. (:

i'm not sure if i went overboard yesterday. while there's no absolute right or wrong i can take reference to, there's always an ideal i think i can aspire to achieve. and that ideal for me, is remaining fully connected to people even when focusing on a task at hand. as a person i'm more task-oriented than people-oriented, so when i've got my sights on something, more often than not i tend to have eyes only for it and nothing else. once that happens, i find it hard to see things from other perspectives but mine alone and can become too imposing on others. but i understand to everything there is an balance that can be struck, and to simply cite natural disposition as a reason to dismiss responsibility for controversial behaviour is purely pride, arrogance and laziness on my part. so with regards to certain things i did, i admit that i was insensitive and even selfish, and admit that it's not worth offending people and risking relationships when what's at stake isn't all too important.

having said all that, i don't think most issues are as clear-cut and on any single issue, there could be a myriad of opinions from one extreme to the other. if it really comes down to that only one can be listened to, two choices seem most obvious - my opinion and God's. the hard part is when the two differ, and laying aside my pride and my own opinion has to be done.