i feel melancholic. rain never fails to make me feel melancholic, and it's been pouring for 5 hours straight ever since i woke up. perhaps the monsoon season is arriving - el nino i think. nevertheless, it created a great environment for quiet time coupled with corrinne may's songs. after a spiritually draining week, which wasn't helped by the fact i couldn't attend service, the presence of God was awesome... it more than made up for the frustrations i'm feeling. and truly, being able to commune with God, to have Someone almighty who understands your troubles and carries your burdens is the greatest privilege that can be accorded. and oh, in fact He wants to do so... you just have to let Him. (:
i'll just share something God spoke to me about: the story of Jesus feeding the five thousand. there are so many times when we feel that we don't have much to offer God, and even more so when we're stuck in situations out of our control. and we ask God: "what can i give? how can i give? my life's such a mess!" it's only human to feel at a loss or sometimes painful frustrations because we can be helpless trying to get ourselves out of bondage from within or without. then it's also natural to be so obsessed with the problems in our life, instead knocking on the God's door to seek and find Him with all our heart. but when we are found in His presence, we'll hear from Him: "I'll take what little you have, and make it much." won't we trust God, and walk with Him? there's all that angst to lose, and a life of victory to gain.
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